2nd Day

It's the second day of work. I do not want to think about it. The boss says he will have to let me go if I don't keep up. Oh my ... I promised not to talk to my husband about it because he is not very sympathetic. So I will jot down whatever he wants me to do. I will try that for 2 days.

I wished it was about something else.

I will try my best but if my best is not good enough then I will not blame myself for what I cannot control. I think I am old enough to separate the truth . Comel my female cat came into the house , after feeding her fish I let her out. I have to shampoo her one of these days in my mother's bathroom . I pity my cats sometimes , not being able to stay in the house for a long time. Perhaps I will go to the bookstore to see any interesting books to read. I should make the time to read again.

1st Day

1st day is always the hardest. Everything to take in a day . I don't have any colleague. The first job where I worked for a year is the same. Alone in the office. Perhaps I am destined to work in very small offices. I've worked in bigger companies before but somehow it doesn't click. Maybe I am too individualistic or could not get on with people. Actually I am a very shy person. Bordering to aloofness. Some people might think that I am proud or snob but I am a warm person when I get to know the other person. Well , Hitam my cat called me from the back of the house. He knows when I came back from work at 7.00 pm this evening. I will let Comel in but my parents don't like it because she will pee everywhere and anywhere. So tonight I will not think about what happened in the office so much. It's done.

Accepted

I have been accepted. I went to an interview this morning and I got the job this afternoon. Thank god. My parents said to perform solat syukur, prayers of gratitude. My parents are deeply religious. My father is a quran teacher and my mother who is 64 this year goes to mosque everyday. I would like to be more like them. They don't worry as much as I do. Perhaps it has to do with age . Living a longer life makes you understand some things that evades the youth. My father would urge me to read the quran and my mother would ask me to do zikir. I would like not to worry about the future . The future would come it self , and you just have to face it. My cat Hitam , would call out at the windows of my bedroom some mornings. If I hear cats quarelling it will Hitam which had come at the back . The orange cat would protect it's area,so I will know that Hitam is hungry. He would climb the roof and call out to us when we are eating at night . He wanted to come in and when I feed him a boiled fish he would happily go out. Comel on the other hand is mute. I don't know why. Maybe when I popped the medication when she was a kitten it somehow . I don't even want to think of it. She is a gentle creature, which likes to come in the house but would urinate . She has a lot of problems but I will bring her in , and she would drink water and stay in front of my room. I will start work tomorrow at 9.00 am. My sisters are very happy for me and so is my husband.

Interview

I will attend an interview tomorrow. So far I had gone for 4 interviews, and this is my fifth. I know that I wanted to start working at home but I still need some money. Maybe then, I will start part-time. Procrastination is getting the better part of me. My father who will be 72 this December is sick. He had gone to the clinic this morning. I hope he will take the medication as prescribed. I was thinking about the future. When I was younger I used to read Dale Carnegie's
" How to stop worrying and start Living" . It's about living for today and forgetting about the past or being anxious about the future. My sister gave me a book called " Don't be Sad " . It's very good ,so I keep it on my dressing table to read whenever I feel especially sad. There's a thought about sadness everyday. Sadness is not something that you should strive for. Sadness kills. One thing the author of " Don't be sad " of " La Tahzan" in Arabic and Dale Carnegie has to say is to keep busy. Keeping busy or find work. So far , I had washed the windows and scrubbed the bathroom tiles. Well it is for a start. I hope I will be accepted tomorrow if not , I will keep searching.

MY LIFE AS IT IS

This is my first blog. I am a housewife for the past 2 years . I used to work but now I am considering work at home. It has been a year since I surfed the net and read blogs. I am 43 years old this November. I've wanted to blog but I didn't know how and I would like to start working at home. Come to think of it , I've wanted to be self-employed for some time. I think
now is the time. I live with my parents and husband and my younger brother. I have two cats
Comel Cleopatra and Tiberius Hitam. I called them Comel and Hitam for short. They will be 3 years old this November. I have no children. I love cats and they seem to understand me.